Friday, January 17, 2014
Unleash Your Inner Hoarder
By Erica Duran
Hoarding doesn't apply to just those people you see on TV that may have sadly lost a few pets in their piles of junk. We all have a mild case of hoarding in some form or other.
It could be in the form of physical things like a vast collection souvenir matchbooks, piles of books you will never "get to", VHS taps with no actual VHS player, or a garage or kitchen full of duplicate tools. Your hoard can be more mental in not letting go of relationships you have outgrown or relationships that are negatively affecting you. You may have a stash of really nice wedding gifts of linen and china that never gets enjoyed because you are waiting to use for that "special occasion". Whatever it is there is something you are holding onto.
Maybe we still have this mentality to hoard from the harsh times in history - to survive a famine or the Great Depression.
Maybe it is the never-ending marketing ads that encourage us to buy anything and everything and prey on our insecurities. Ads bombard us constantly on the internet, TV, junk mail, and even our neighbors flaunting or bragging.
Maybe your 'stuff' is covering up something deeper. Are you holding onto your college football uniform because that was the last time you felt appreciated and important - even though it hasn't fit in 20 years? Are you hanging around the same negative friends because it is comfortable and you are afraid of their backlash if you try to improve your situation? Do you keep stacks and stacks of mail and junk all over your kitchen counters so you have an excuse not to invite friends over? Do you head to the mall when you feel stressed by an argument with your spouse? Are stacks of gourmet cookbooks collecting dust and making you feel like an inferior chef?
Could be that we feel the need to fill up any open space? There is an ancient teaching that states that the universe abhors a vacuum. When you let go of the old, the universe will send you new energy, ideas, situations, and opportunities. We need to start getting comfortable with the open space around us and not try to clutter it up with things or stuff down our feelings by purchasing items we don't need.
You should be investing your daily energy into the pursuits that have meaning for you - not your peers or what your family things you should do. And, remember that as you proceed on through life there are people, places, activities and ideas that you outgrow. Gracefully, let them go so you can allow the universe to direct new opportunities and people to you.
Whew! Those were some deep concepts to think about.
Now, here are some practical tips to unleashing your inner hoarder:
1. Beware of Bins! Before you get inspired to finally get organized and run out to purchase all kinds of baskets and bins. Stop! There is a definitely a problem with our society and our level of consumption when there is a whole store devoted to just containing stuff that we purchased from other stores. First, let's try to get rid of as much as possible. The containers and organizing gadgets and products often become the clutter themselves and an excuse to keep items that are no longer serving you. Just because everything is neatly organized and labeled doesn't mean you need to continue to take up precious real estate in your home to store the items, take the time out your short life to continue to regularly take care of these items, spending even more money on bins to contain the items, or using up any more of your energy to keep track of what you have and looking for things.
2. Replace your Ritual. I often work with people trying to break old bad habits or start new good habits. Most times my client doesn't even really necessarily enjoy the bad habit anymore, it is the ritual surrounding the bad habit. For example, if a client wants to stop the bad habit of wasting time going to happy hour and gossiping with co-workers, we need to replace that with a ritual that is counter-intuitive. So, I would suggest the client pick a hobby or activity that they have always wanted to try but "didn't have the time for". By starting the new hobby activity after work they still have the ritual of going out to unwind after their work day but it is for a positive pastime. They will also start surrounding themselves automatically with new positive people that enjoy this same activity and probably not the gossiping and over consumption at happy hour.
3. Nobody cares. Let me explain, I always tell my clients "Why are you keeping this item just to impress someone - nobody cares that you have this." But Agnes Repplier, an American essayist, puts this idea a little more eloquently... "The pleasure of possession whether we possess trinkets or off-spring-or possibly books or chessmen, or postage stamps-lies in showing these things to friends, who are experiencing no immediate urge to look at them."
So you have the worlds best literary works lining your shelves that you've never really read but they make you feel like a superior intellectual. Or, you have 10 boxes of holiday decorations that you have to drag out every year, spend hours putting them all around the house and then take another whole day to take them down. Maybe it takes so much time that now you don't even take them out at all. All I am saying is that when you have these things... make sure you have them for you and you get joy out of them. We don't want to give things space in our homes or energy if it is purely for others to envy. Remember that everyone else is consumed about their own lives - not what you have.
4. Stop clutter at the source. Once we de-clutter and organize the small amount of items we are keeping, we then need to stop future clutter from invading our space. Take a look at the patterns of your past and present that may contribute to the clutter. An example, of this is if you have a fight with your spouse about debt and then ironically escape to the mall for some mindless shopping that could add even more debt to the situation. Try to be aware and catch yourself in the car driving to the mall and then turn the car in the direction of the gym to run off some of this frustration. Or, maybe you don't have a system set up for the mail and papers that creep into your home everyday so it ends up all over the counter causing you to feel stress and race around shoving all the paper in a drawer when an unexpected friend shows up on your doorstep for coffee. Instead of graciously welcoming your friend you act busy and uninterested. Take care of the little things everyday and your clutter control will become a habit.
In conclusion, all the "stuff" is just a symptom for something deeper going on in at all levels from those advanced cases of extreme hoarders down to the average woman with a full closet and "nothing to wear". When I work with my clients they discover that by letting go of physical things, they start letting go of ideas, activities, and people that no longer honor their desired lifestyle. Although silly, maybe clearing their overflowing closet or file cabinet was the portal to growth.
Erica Duran is a Productivity Expert and Certified Professional Organizer (CPO®). At Erica Duran International, she provides both virtual and in-person coaching around the globe through her programs, courses, and products. Erica mostly attracts women entrepreneurs and small business owners who want results fast! She helps them to clear the clutter in their lives at ALL levels, gets them out of just being "busy" and "overwhelmed" and into a calm, flowing, profitable and balanced lifestyle.
Learn more and claim your FREE gifts at http://www.EricaDuran.Co
Learn more and claim your FREE gifts at http://www.EricaDuran.Co
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Erica_Duran
Ask a Productivity Expert: How Can I Get My Family On Board With the Positive Changes I'm Making?
By Erica Duran
Question: "Hello there! Now that we've been working together I have been able to change so many habits and I feel like a big weight has been lifted off me! Everything seems to be falling into place. However, I am feeling resistance from my family in trying to keep everything organized. And our calendars are still not in sync. For example, my family still informs me of events that they have to get to last minute. How can I keep my family from undoing everything I've worked so hard to put in place?"
Productivity Expert's Answer: "Hello. I am glad things are coming together for you! Now that you are working full time and trying to start your business I bet you are feeling like you could use a little help and support at home. Your family sounds like they need a little "training". I am in no way a family therapist, but I do know that little petty annoyances can grow and grow and may end up destroying a family if not taken care of openly and honestly. Once, your family knows what to do and why they will see that the energy shift in the home and whole atmosphere will change. Cliché saying, but when "mom/wife" is happy the whole family is happier, right?
Here are a few things you can do to hopefully help them see the benefit in all getting on the same page:
1. Get your spouse on board first. I think you need a united front as a couple when you are trying to implement changes for the whole family. If your children see your husband "not playing by the rules" the children will most likely model his behavior. Have a non-judgmental discussion (not argument) with your husband. Tell him why you are making these changes and paint the picture of how you would like the household to run. It doesn't hurt to let him know "what is in it for him" to motivate him and get him moving towards the same vision for your family that you have.
Be sure everyone knows exactly how to do what you are asking them to do and why you specifically want the task done that way. Just like having a new employee - you need to train them on exactly why you want the task done they way that you want it done - no shortcuts. I am sure you have your reasons for getting something done in a certain way. If you don't explain this part you might not get what you are asking for and you might start thinking it is easier and faster if you just do it yourself. They will probably understand if you just explain it and then stop micro-managing. If the task ends up being done incorrectly again, calmly try explaining it again and asking why they thought that was the way to do it.
2. Have a central calendar. Sounds like you are still having a little trouble with last minute events added to your family calendar. If your kids are younger you can make the calendar more visual and have it on the wall in the kitchen for everyone to write their events in - maybe even in different colors for different members of the family. If your kids are older and have smart phones you may want to have everyone in the family on Google calendars. This way everyone can add their events onto their own calendar and it will sync with everyone's phone/computers.
Build in Incentives. A calm and organized atmosphere and the families schedules being effortlessly in sync without arguments should be enough of an incentive. But, you may want to add in some rewards - especially for younger children. So, just putting little incentives in place like everyone will go to the zoo or movies together if the house is picked up could help get them in these new habits.
3. Consider getting outside help. Purging items that are no longer serving you, putting things back where they belong and organized is different than cleaning. Now that you are working full time and trying to start your business, maybe you could look at getting outside help with the actual routine cleaning. Add up the hours you spend on routine cleaning every week and what you would make per hour if you were at work or working on your business then outsource these tasks. This once thought of luxury service is now relatively less than a dinner out in a restaurant. The bonus here too is that you may be cutting out an unhealthy restaurant meal at the same time. Just be sure to put those hours you claim back into your life from not cleaning get put to good use. Plan meaningful activities with your family ahead of time to avoid the "what do you want to do back and forth" or letting other chores creep into this new "found" time. Or, vow to only work on revenue generating activities while the housekeepers are there to see an instant return on investment (ROI) from their cleaning fees.
Remember you are the gracious queen of your family, not the servant. Self-care is so important so that you can give more to your family and business without feeling used or empty. Take care of these annoyances, and your energy will soar.
Erica Duran is a Productivity Expert and Certified Professional Organizer (CPO®). At Erica Duran International (http://www.ericaduran.co), she provides both virtual and in-person coaching around the globe through her programs, courses, and products. Erica mostly attracts women entrepreneurs and business owners. She helps them to clear the clutter in their lives at ALL levels, gets them out of just being "busy" and "overwhelmed" and into a calm, flowing, and balanced lifestyle.
Want to ask Erica a Question and be featured in her electronic magazine, blog, and other articles. Submit your question here: http://ericaduran.co/ask-erica/#
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Erica_Duran
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