Friday, January 17, 2014
Ask a Productivity Expert: How Can I Get My Family On Board With the Positive Changes I'm Making?
By Erica Duran
Question: "Hello there! Now that we've been working together I have been able to change so many habits and I feel like a big weight has been lifted off me! Everything seems to be falling into place. However, I am feeling resistance from my family in trying to keep everything organized. And our calendars are still not in sync. For example, my family still informs me of events that they have to get to last minute. How can I keep my family from undoing everything I've worked so hard to put in place?"
Productivity Expert's Answer: "Hello. I am glad things are coming together for you! Now that you are working full time and trying to start your business I bet you are feeling like you could use a little help and support at home. Your family sounds like they need a little "training". I am in no way a family therapist, but I do know that little petty annoyances can grow and grow and may end up destroying a family if not taken care of openly and honestly. Once, your family knows what to do and why they will see that the energy shift in the home and whole atmosphere will change. Cliché saying, but when "mom/wife" is happy the whole family is happier, right?
Here are a few things you can do to hopefully help them see the benefit in all getting on the same page:
1. Get your spouse on board first. I think you need a united front as a couple when you are trying to implement changes for the whole family. If your children see your husband "not playing by the rules" the children will most likely model his behavior. Have a non-judgmental discussion (not argument) with your husband. Tell him why you are making these changes and paint the picture of how you would like the household to run. It doesn't hurt to let him know "what is in it for him" to motivate him and get him moving towards the same vision for your family that you have.
Be sure everyone knows exactly how to do what you are asking them to do and why you specifically want the task done that way. Just like having a new employee - you need to train them on exactly why you want the task done they way that you want it done - no shortcuts. I am sure you have your reasons for getting something done in a certain way. If you don't explain this part you might not get what you are asking for and you might start thinking it is easier and faster if you just do it yourself. They will probably understand if you just explain it and then stop micro-managing. If the task ends up being done incorrectly again, calmly try explaining it again and asking why they thought that was the way to do it.
2. Have a central calendar. Sounds like you are still having a little trouble with last minute events added to your family calendar. If your kids are younger you can make the calendar more visual and have it on the wall in the kitchen for everyone to write their events in - maybe even in different colors for different members of the family. If your kids are older and have smart phones you may want to have everyone in the family on Google calendars. This way everyone can add their events onto their own calendar and it will sync with everyone's phone/computers.
Build in Incentives. A calm and organized atmosphere and the families schedules being effortlessly in sync without arguments should be enough of an incentive. But, you may want to add in some rewards - especially for younger children. So, just putting little incentives in place like everyone will go to the zoo or movies together if the house is picked up could help get them in these new habits.
3. Consider getting outside help. Purging items that are no longer serving you, putting things back where they belong and organized is different than cleaning. Now that you are working full time and trying to start your business, maybe you could look at getting outside help with the actual routine cleaning. Add up the hours you spend on routine cleaning every week and what you would make per hour if you were at work or working on your business then outsource these tasks. This once thought of luxury service is now relatively less than a dinner out in a restaurant. The bonus here too is that you may be cutting out an unhealthy restaurant meal at the same time. Just be sure to put those hours you claim back into your life from not cleaning get put to good use. Plan meaningful activities with your family ahead of time to avoid the "what do you want to do back and forth" or letting other chores creep into this new "found" time. Or, vow to only work on revenue generating activities while the housekeepers are there to see an instant return on investment (ROI) from their cleaning fees.
Remember you are the gracious queen of your family, not the servant. Self-care is so important so that you can give more to your family and business without feeling used or empty. Take care of these annoyances, and your energy will soar.
Erica Duran is a Productivity Expert and Certified Professional Organizer (CPO®). At Erica Duran International (http://www.ericaduran.co), she provides both virtual and in-person coaching around the globe through her programs, courses, and products. Erica mostly attracts women entrepreneurs and business owners. She helps them to clear the clutter in their lives at ALL levels, gets them out of just being "busy" and "overwhelmed" and into a calm, flowing, and balanced lifestyle.
Want to ask Erica a Question and be featured in her electronic magazine, blog, and other articles. Submit your question here: http://ericaduran.co/ask-erica/#
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Erica_Duran
Clarity On Why I Always Make Such A Big Deal About Clarity
By Erica Duran
If you've ever heard me speak live or on a tele-seminar you've probably noticed that I often start every call with the concept of "clarity".
The reason many people come to me for help is so they can "get more done". But, without clarity those things on your to-do list are just clutter or junk or "BS". You need to know why you are doing something and for what reasons in order to "stick" with being productive and organized. Living without clarity on your goals is just clutter in your mind.
Clutter in your mind and in your personal space affects all areas of your life. A cluttered mind (often leading to a cluttered space) impacts your weight, attitude, success, finances, relationships, hobbies and interests, mood, emotions, overall healthy habits, level of stress, etc.
The word "clutter" comes from the middle English word "clotter" or "clotteren" which really means "to form clots, to heap on, stuck energy".
Clearing mental and physical clutter that surrounds you is a deeper process than what you may see on HGTV in a 30-minute room transformation. Here I will dissect the first step to living a clutter-free lifestyle on all levels.
It is hard to say which comes first. Is your space cluttered because you can't think clearly? Or, can you not think clearly because of all the junk surrounding you? In either case, you are stuck in this situation until you actively become aware of the problem and take action.
In order to break through the stuck energy that surrounds you and feel a sense of control and balance in your life you need to start with a plan and a "why".
If you don't know the "why" your mental and physical state of clutter will just return. Also, if you don't have clarity on why you are adding something to your already overflowing task list, you are just keeping yourself busy and stressed-out for now reason or greater goal.
There are two "whys" you must know before you start your clutter-free transformational process. The first why is "Why has clutter invaded my life? When did the clutter start accumulating in my life? When did I start feeling stress, pressure, and overwhelm?"
In most cases, why the mental and physical clutter started accumulating stems from a major life event: getting married, having a baby, divorce, death in the family, a new job, etc.
When a major event happens in your life the daily routines and systems get tossed aside due to the surprise of the life event like an untimely death of a family member. Or, routines and systems weren't adjusted for the new life event such as blending the stuff of two households after a marriage.
The second "why" you must know in order to start your clutter-free path is: "Why do I want to be mentally and physically clutter-free?" Do you want to improve your health? Increase your free time? Grow your income and/or business?
Whatever the reason for your desire to be clutter-free (both physically and mentally) it helps if you put emotion into your "why". For example, you could say "I want to be free of mental and physical clutter because I want to make time for healthy habits like exercising every single day so I can live to see my grandchildren and be active with them, not just sitting on a park bench."
So, why do I always make such a big deal about having clarity?
Having clarity is all about decision making.
The latin origin of the word "decide" literally means "to cut or kill." So quite literally when you "decide" something you are cutting off all other possibilities or killing all your other options.
When you get that rush of clarity in your thinking, suddenly you have a clear vision and path, you know exactly what is important, you will know what precisely needs to be done and have the energy and motivation to do it.
To get clarity on what you really want your lifestyle to become I encourage clients to get out of their normal environment ALONE. You must be alone, not even with your partner or spouse. Remember you are an individual person - even though you make up a family or team. Without knowing what you truly desire deep inside you, you will never be a great contributor to the family/team.
You must also get our of your environment - away from your routine, obligations, and habits. Being in nature also helps: a park, a beach, a desert landscape, the lakefront, crisp mountain air, etc.
If it is at all possible get away for a few days - totally by yourself, to really reflect and create a vision for your future.
What will you be doing while you are alone? Thinking, reflecting, visualizing and writing. (Handwriting is better than writing on a computer for this step - I could explain, but it is greater than the scope of this article). You may want to throw in some fun activities that you enjoy too while you are away to really connect to yourself like hiking, spa treatments, yoga, biking, painting, etc.
Think, reflect and write on these topics - what do you desire your lifestyle to be in these areas.
Write very detail descriptions for your future goals - how things will look and feel.
- Family
- Finances
- Health/Physical
- Where to Live
- Spiritual
- Social/Relationships
- Travel
- Mental/Educational
- How to spend free time/hobbies
- Career or Business
Remember, it doesn't matter where you are at now, or if you have taken some wrong turns during your life. What matters is not you are aware of them and have a clear vision for the future.
You want to stop being "numb" in your life and going through the motions and start going for and getting what you really want. You will now see that you will start making decisions from where you want to be, not where you are.
Before you know it you'll have full clarity on what you want and get to your desired destination on all of these lifestyle choices.
Erica Duran, CPO, is a published Productivity Expert/Coach, Web Designer & Certified Professional Organizer. She has been an entrepreneur and consultant for over 20 years.
Erica works with new entrepreneurs who are just starting their business and have a ton of questions! She also works with those who have been in business for years but long to be more productive, organized, and "get their life back" by doing what they love and make a profit at it.
If you've liked this article, you'll love Erica's dynamic courses and programs to help you get productive, organized, & profitable and stay that way.
Learn more and claim your FREE gifts at http://www.EricaDuran.Co
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Erica_Duran
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